


Hilarious "Balls" Pun

by tegmen



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Background Kabu/Raihan, Ball Guy is basically a friendly eldritch abomination, Consentacles, Human/Monster Romance, Macro/Micro, Non-Human Genitalia, Other, Size Difference, Xenophilia, and also a muscle chub because I said so, and in chapter 2 we have, by way of dynamaxing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:13:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tegmen/pseuds/tegmen
Summary: A certain big buff Poke Ball mascot catches Kabu's eye.
Relationships: Ball Guy/Kabu
Comments: 25
Kudos: 106





	1. Monster Balls

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first pokemon fic in over a decade and i'm 100% living my best life

Another day, another slew of up-and-coming trainers finding out the hard way why a lot of people dropped out of the Gym Challenge after a battle with Kabu. One kid did manage to scrounge up a victory; he was Leon's little brother, so no surprise there.

Back in his private locker room Kabu tended to his team's injuries. Arcanine and Ninetales didn't give him any trouble. Centiskorch was a different story. For a Pokemon who was an absolute beast on the pitch, the bug had always been a big baby about having medicine sprayed on its cuts and scrapes. It took one look at the bottle in Kabu's hand, zipped up the nearest wall and clung upside down to the ceiling. 

"Look," said Kabu, "that nasty peck Hop's Corvisquire gave you is liable to get infected if you don't let me at it. Would you rather have an infection?"

After a moment's hesitation, Centiskorch scuttled back down to him with a sullen hiss.

"Hmph. That's what I thought."

To its credit, Centiskorch behaved until Kabu was finished. It made a sort of clicky purring noise as he scratched it affectionately under the chin.

"All right, back in your balls with you. Good work today as always."

The three weary Pokemon were only too happy to obey. Standing and stretching, Kabu wondered why they hadn't invented a Poke Ball for humans yet. Imagine a home that tailored itself to your desires with no effort required on your part! Sounded like a pretty sweet deal to him, what with all the funny new sounds his aging joints seemed to make nowadays.

Crunchy knees aside, he was in a chipper mood. He considered catching a flying cab and staying the night with Raihan in Hammerlocke. It just so happened Raihan was into older guys and Kabu was into taller guys—win-win. As he jogged down the hall that led to the stadium lobby he called Raihan to ask if he was free. (Yes, Kabu preferred calling to texting. Go on and get the "old people and technology don't mix" jokes out of your system.) 

"Tonight? 'Fraid not, Pops. I'm starting a charity livestream on Flinch in a few minutes here."

"Another Flinch stream? How many is that so far this month? Let me guess: you're playing _Shadow of the Coalossal_."

Raihan made finger guns at the phone camera. "You know it!"

Kabu groaned dramatically. "Don't you ever get sick of that game?"

"A) No, and B) it's for a good cause, _Kabu_. Why do you hate feeding orphans, _Kabu_?"

"Shut up," said Kabu, and they both laughed. "Well, I hope you get lots of donations."

"Count on it, you old fossil," said Raihan with a cheeky wink. "Later."

The video feed cut off. Kabu puffed out his cheeks and released the air in a long _whoosh_. What now? He could burn off this extra energy via working out, he supposed. Not that that would really satisfy him when the sort of workout he was craving required two people.

He stepped out into the lobby, which had emptied out save for stadium employees and a couple of trainers chatting with the Ball Guy.

Kabu had never really paid much attention to the Poke Ball mascot, but man, whoever hired that suit actor deserved a raise. The guy was even taller than Raihan, and aside from some softness around the middle he was a solid wall of muscle from the neck down. 

The most fitting choice for such a cutesy character? Maybe not. The most fitting choice for sending Kabu's dick rocketing straight up into orbit like he was a hormone-addled youngster again? Maybe so.

The wheels in his brain fired up faster than the gears of a Klinklang after ten cups of coffee.

Hey, the night was still young. 

Casually he strolled up behind Ball Guy.

"—a lot of requests for Flame Orbs," the mascot was saying, "but to be honest it makes me sad giving out a ball-shaped item that hurts its own holder even if it's for a battle strategy. That's just not how I roll! If you ask me, round things should be used for more pleasant—"

"Might wanna turn around, mate," one of the trainers cut in, pointing.

Ball Guy peeked over his broad shoulder and instantly whipped around to face Kabu. "So sorry, Mr. Kabu! I didn't mean to ignore you!"

Kabu barely registered the words. His gaze had been pulled magnet-like to those thick, exquisitely toned biceps, which tensed up a bit beneath tight sleeves as Ball Guy grew unnerved by his lack of a response.

"Sir...?" 

Kabu pulled himself together and smiled up at him. "I'd like to speak with you in private, if you can spare the time."

"In private?" Ball Guy looked away, lifting an arm to scratch at the back of his goofy round costume head; Kabu had to exercise self-restraint not to stare at the sweat stain on his armpit. "Uh... sure."

By this point the two trainers had lost interest and wandered off. _Their loss,_ thought Kabu with a sniff.

"Right this way," he said, nodding to the door he'd just come through.

Ball Guy was uncharacteristically silent during their trip to Kabu's locker room. "Don't worry, you aren't in any trouble," Kabu assured him.

"Oh. Okay."

He clammed up again. Kabu wondered if he'd rubbed him the wrong way somehow. Had the ogling been too blatant? Did he trip over the fine line between "foxy grandpa" and "creepy old fart"? Was he losing his touch?

Ushering Ball Guy through the locker room door, he decided on an impulse to be bold and straightforward. If he wound up getting rejected, he'd go down in a blaze of glory, dammit.

"Have a seat, if you don't mind," he said, gesturing at the Centiskorch-patterned gym mat he used for stretching between matches.

Ball Guy plunked down on the mat.

Kabu plunked down on Ball Guy's lap.

"Sir?!" exclaimed Ball Guy, sounding shocked but not displeased.

Without breaking eye contact—if squinting into the mouth of a mascot head could be called eye contact—he untucked Ball Guy's shirt with deft fingers. "I'm sure a stud like you gets plenty of action," he purred, "but you'll humor this old coot just for one night, won't you, big boy?"

He felt a shiver run through Ball Guy. Taking that as a good sign, he slipped his hands under his shirt and began kneading his way up his love handles.

"Ohhh..." Ball Guy shivered again. "That feels really nice, Mr. Kabu...."

Kabu freed one hand and tapped the side of the costume head. "You can take this off, you know. It's just us in here."

"Hm? Why would I take my head off?"

You had to hand it to the guy, he was dedicated to his performance. Kabu shrugged, said "Suit yourself," and returned to diving for tit meat.

And what glorious tit meat it was. Powerfully muscled, of course, but with just the right amount of give to it. Kabu grabbed twin handfuls and let his palms sink in, relishing Ball Guy's shaky breaths.

Fuck. Tits like these _needed_ a dick between them.

"Do me a favor. Lie back and hold your shirt up for me."

Ball Guy obeyed at once. Turned out the coat of white body paint covered his whole torso, which seemed like overkill, but that wasn't important. Now, Ball Guy's nipples? Those were important. Kabu's mouth practically watered at the sight of them, all rosy and fat and puffy. No sharp edges on this fella.

He cupped and squeezed the left tit in his gloved hand, dipped his head and had himself a nice sloppy suck.

Ball Guy jolted beneath him, emitting a comical wheeze.

Kabu glanced up. "You okay?"

"Fine," came the quavering reply. "Keep going, please, sir."

Happy to oblige, he switched to the other tit and slurped at the nipple like nipple-slurping was going out of style, tugging with gentle teeth and lips, brushing and nudging with his dripping tongue.

Ball Guy's moans and gasps were quiet for such a big guy, but as the saying goes, a little bit went a long way. Kabu could nut untouched just listening to him. He'd better get a move on. Squatting above the mascot long enough to pull down his shorts and jockstrap, he slapped his dick square between the highest-caliber pair of breasts he'd ever encountered on anyone of any gender.

Ball Guy had been resting his hands on his hiked-up shirt. Now, of his own accord, he took a tit in each hand and pushed them together so they made a lovely silky sleeve for Kabu's sliding cock.

"Good boy," puffed Kabu, "you're being so good for me—"

He had to clench his teeth midsentence and funnel all his concentration into not blowing his load right away. It was just too perfect. It was like Ball Guy was put on this earth for the sole purpose of having his tits fucked. All that mascot stuff was just an afterthought; this right here was the real deal.

He was just thinking he'd be able to last a few more minutes when Ball Guy had to open his mouth. "You're so handsome and strong, sir. I... I've had a crush on you for ages but I never thought you'd notice me, so when you did, I got really nervous...." He turned his head away as though too shy to say any more.

_Oh no. He's too damn cute._

It lit up some primal caveman instinct in Kabu's brain, an urge to mark his territory and mark it _now_ , before some other caveman with a thing for buff Poke Ball mascots could beat him to it.

Hastily he withdrew his dick, a delicate line of pre still strung between it and Ball Guy's chest, and jacked himself off, his fist a frantic blur. Ball Guy dropped his hands out of the way as Kabu, cursing creatively, unloaded all over his tits.

"Wow," Ball Guy remarked.

"Wow," Kabu agreed breathlessly.

He panted a few moments, giving the oxygen a chance to get back in his system, then scooted off of Ball Guy. Pulling up his jockstrap and shorts, he set to work getting into _Ball Guy's_ shorts.

"Whoa... sir, what're you—"

"Returning the favor, of course. I'm no barbarian."

Ball Guy exhaled and gave a quick little nod. "Okay."

Kabu unzipped Ball Guy's fly and got an eyeful of what he was packing.

With a yelp he recoiled from the wrongness of it, scuttling backward on all fours until his head thumped against a bench. 

Ball Guy's junk was indescribable. Literally. This wasn't a "whoa, that's a weird-shaped dick" thing, it was a "human brains physically aren't equipped to comprehend whatever the hell it is I'm looking at right now" thing.

"What _are_ you?" Kabu demanded.

The inhuman thing sat up, head tilted to one side like the question puzzled him. "I'm the Ball Guy, sir."

"You know that's not what I'm asking!"

Ball Guy shrank away from his harsh tone. "What else would I be?" he said, his own voice small and meek. "I'm just... the Ball Guy."

Kabu blinked rapidly. What were you even supposed to do in a situation like this? Whip out your phone and consult social media? _My (69/M) hookup (???/???) has a fantastic body right up until you shatter your sanity trying to understand what's in his pants._

"Did I do something wrong?"

Monster or no monster, he looked pretty pitiful sitting there with his shirt all rumpled, cum dribbling down his chest, unable to meet Kabu's eyes.

Kabu drew in a deep, steadying breath.

All right, so Ball Guy had something freaky going on down there. Plenty of folks thought giant flaming centipedes were freaky, but that didn't stop Kabu's Centiskorch from being a big softie outside of battle. What harm had Ball Guy ever done anyone? All he did was go around giving out free Poke Balls and encouraging trainers to be the very best (like no one ever was). Ooh, so scary.

Curiosity crept in until it outweighed his wariness. He pushed himself to his feet and, not wanting to upset him further, approached Ball Guy slowly with both hands raised, as though approaching an injured wild Pokemon. 

Ball Guy went stock-still and made a tiny sound halfway between a gulp and a squeak—definitely not the kind of sound you'd expect someone his size to be capable of making. The corners of Kabu's mouth perked up.

"Easy there," he soothed. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. I got caught off guard, that's all."

Ball Guy visibly relaxed. "That's good. I'd hate to drop the ball."

Even in this situation he wasn't about to give up the dumb ball puns. Thank Arceus.

Kabu lay on his stomach in front of the bizarre being and propped himself up on his elbows. Make no mistake, he still intended to suck him off, but first he'd have to figure out how. Keeping his eyes averted—which helped a lot—he stuck his hand in Ball Guy's open fly and pawed around. Almost at once his fingers grazed something solid. With thumb and forefinger he formed a ring around the base of The Something. Then, closing his eyes, he leaned down and gingerly probed its slick surface with his tongue.

A surprised grunt escaped him, and he opened his mouth wide to stuff it with unknowable dick, caution be damned. 

Ball Guy's junk was everything Kabu wanted it to be. Literally. Perfect taste, perfect girth, perfect weight on his tongue as he gulped his greedy way down its perfect length. Almost like...

An idea came to him, as weirdly plausible as it was crazy. Hadn't he been lamenting the lack of a human Poke Ball equivalent just a few minutes ago? Well, what if Ball Guy was something like that? It'd go a long way toward explaining his impossible junk if it had no set form and simply felt however his partner wanted it to feel.

Some people might question why he would _need_ impossible junk. Kabu, however, had never been one to look a gift Rapidash in the mouth.

The cherry on top was that Ball Guy's eldritch dick was secreting some kind of aphrodisiac fluid. The more Kabu swallowed, the more a warm, pleasant buzz rippled through him from scalp to soles. Soon his spent dick gave a healthy twitch, blood sluicing in to fatten it back up. Refractory periods? Fuck 'em. 

Hungry for more of the stuff, he swallowed hard around The Something again and again, roughly dragging his wet tongue along the underside.

He couldn't see Ball Guy's reactions throughout all this, but he could feel his trembling and hear his sharp intakes of breath. ( _How_ he breathed was a question for another day.) After a particularly drawn-out lick, Kabu felt a large hand rest on his hair. He paused, enjoying the strength he sensed in the fingers pressing lightly into his scalp.

"Oh," said Ball Guy, moving his hand away. "Should I not—"

"No, it's fine, I like it. You can pull if you want," Kabu added with a smirk.

Ball Guy took him up on his offer, though he wasn't as merciless as Raihan would've been. Just a mild tug here and there, a bit stronger when Kabu swallowed around him just so. Still, hair-pulling was a major weakness of Kabu's, and his cock jumped in his shorts with every tug.

Then he curled his tongue around The Something in a way he hadn't tried yet, and Ball Guy gave his hair a sudden mighty yank that jerked him up and off of the dick in his mouth, spit flying from his chin in an arc.

Kabu came. Untouched, right in his shorts.

Ball Guy, of course, apologized profusely, but Kabu looked up at him, shaking his head. "I'm afraid I've been a poor host," he panted. "You already got me off twice and here I am still trying to get you off at all. Clearly I'm going to have to step up my game."

He stood up and shed his cum-soiled shorts, carelessly tossing them aside. He left the jockstrap on, though.

See, he had a thing for getting fucked in his jockstrap.

Courtesy of Ball Guy's Special Horny Juice, Kabu's dick was still up and raring to go when he crouched over Ball Guy's lap and, taking The Something in hand, guided it inside him.

Eyes snapping wide in disbelief, he smothered his face in Ball Guy's tits not quite in time to stifle a very loud, very effeminate moan.

Nothing could have prepared him for this. Ball Guy's body seemed to know what Kabu liked better than he himself did. Perfect fit, perfect friction. The Something had even sprouted what felt like little nubs up its length that made Kabu's tongue loll out as they dragged smoothly along his insides.

"You're so warm inside, sir," said Ball Guy softly.

Kabu nodded, his cheek still pressed to the big guy's cushy chest. "Gonna move now."

As Raihan was fond of telling him in that backhanded-compliment way of his, what Kabu lacked in size he more than made up for in strength. He held on to Ball Guy's shoulders and rode him into the fucking floor.

He growled his approval when Ball Guy grabbed his ass with both hands and began thrusting up to meet him, murmuring an unbroken stream of really sappy stuff. Oh boy. Whatever he used for cum, Kabu was going to wring out every. last. drop.

_The only thing that could make this more perfect is if I had a free hand to jack off with._

Ball Guy's body responded almost before he'd finished the thought. He felt something suspiciously tentacle-like—slippery, supple, sinuous—lift the waistband of his jockstrap and snake inside. It coiled tight around his cock, corkscrewing swiftly from tip to balls and back again. 

It was too much. Was this happening? Was he really going to nut a third time before his partner had nutted once? Frosmoth in a fire, he was a disgrace.

"Cum in me," he rasped. "Oh fuck, cum in me, please, I want it all—"

Once more the Unfathomable Junk came to his rescue. Boy, did it ever come.

Ball Guy threw his massive arms around him, clutched him in a rib-bruising bear hug, and that's all she wrote. The two of them came damn near simultaneously, Kabu making an even bigger mess of his jockstrap, Ball Guy pumping out physically impossible amounts of nut and filling him well beyond overflowing.

When it was over, they held each other wordlessly for a time, hearts slowing, sweat cooling.

Ball Guy was the first to speak up. "Oh no. Your mat."

Kabu's eyes flicked down. Sure enough, much of the Centiskorch-patterned surface was drowning under a sticky sea of surprisingly normal-looking jizz.

"Eh. I have plenty of spares." Kabu grinned up at him. "How would you like to ruin my bedsheets next?"

And that's the tale of how, for once in his life, Kabu couldn't bring himself to be too annoyed at having to do a bunch of laundry. 


	2. Heavy Balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look if game freak didn't want me to write this they shouldn't have given me canon art of ball guy dynamaxing

It was Kabu's first match of the following day, and his young opponent was trying an interesting strategy: rather than relying on type advantage she'd brought along a few Centiskorch of her own. Not only did their Flash Fire ability grant them immunity to heat, those jawlike forcipules could inflict one heck of a flinch-inducing bite.

Within minutes Ninetales and Arcanine were out of commission. Time to bring out the big guns.

He clutched his final Poke Ball close to his chest, allowed his dynamax band to infuse it with energy, and let fly.

Kabu could've witnessed his Centiskorch's gigantamax transformation every day for a hundred years and still not tired of it. The amazement of seeing his beloved bug buddy so vast, so powerful, kicked his pulse into a stuttering gallop like a startled Whismur's.

As always during this climactic moment, the enormous flatscreens on the stadium walls showed a simple animation of Ball Guy dynamaxing.

Ball Guy. Growing to the size of a building.

He must've blanked for a second there, because he realized Centiskorch was peering at him with evident concern. For that matter, so was the Challenger and her ordinary dynamaxed Centiskorch.

The world flared back into razor-sharp focus, and under Kabu's direction Centiskorch steamrolled its opponent in record time.

No one took home a Fire Badge that day. Kabu burned through his scheduled matches like a lit fuse, impatient to get them out of the way as quick as possible.

He had a certain question for a certain someone.

-

After hours, once he was certain everyone else had left the building, Kabu herded a rather perplexed but perfectly willing Ball Guy out onto the pitch. The stadium lights still blazed bright; Kabu had requested they be left on overnight so he could "test out a new method of dynamaxing." Which, while not the whole truth, couldn't exactly be called a lie, either. 

"Say you were attacked by, oh, Poke Ball thieves," he was saying to Ball Guy, "and you happened to be right on top of a Power Spot, like we are now. What would you do?"

"Hmmm. Curl up in a ball and cry, probably. Why?"

"Orrr what about dynamaxing in self-defense?" Kabu pressed.

"Dynamax? Me?" said Ball Guy, pointing to himself. "I don't know if I can, sir. I never thought to try."

"So try. What can it hurt?"

Kabu backed off, giving him a wide berth, and watched him intently, but nothing happened other than Ball Guy just kind of standing there awkwardly.

"Well? Go on!"

"I'm trying, sir. I'm thinking big thoughts."

Half a minute passed. Still nothing.

Kabu facepalmed. How dense was he, hoping Ball Guy could dynamax based on no evidence but a silly cartoon? This was a waste of time.

"Maybe it needs something else," suggested Ball Guy. "You know, some sort of push to get the ball rolling."

"D'you have to think up those puns or do they just come naturally?"

"Puns?" said Ball Guy, slowly, as if pronouncing a new word.

Kabu made a face. "Never mind."

He jogged over to Ball Guy and looked him up and down, frowning. Something nagged at the back of his mind, like there was a clue in plain sight he wasn't quite picking up on.

"Well, this beats me," he said. "If you were an actual Poke Ball, I'd hold you like so"—he stood on tiptoe and placed a hand on the side of Ball Guy's head—"but you _aren't_ an actual Poke Ball, so I doubt that's going to do us any—"

He was rudely interrupted by everything going to hell.

The world was one tremendous, bone-rattling explosion of light and noise, and Kabu was flung high, high up in the air, head over heels, as though he weighed no more than a fluffy handful of Torchic down. He opened his mouth to voice his displeasure—preferably in the form of words he wouldn't repeat in front of a stadium full of kids—but in that instant he faceplanted on a warm, springy surface.

Just like that, it was over.

He didn't think he'd been injured. Lucky him. He started to get up, wanting to make sure nothing horrible had happened to Ball Guy either, and collapsed flat on his face again; the heavy landing had winded him worse than he'd thought.

He felt a sudden broad, blunt pressure on either side of his ribcage—not strong enough to hurt, but strong enough to easily lift him up and off whatever he'd landed on. Soon he had a good view of what was picking him up like a piece of popcorn.

Relief coursed through him.

"Ball Guy," he coughed. "I didn't kill you."

" _You_ were worried you hurt _me_? For a second there I was sure I'd landed on top of you!" Ball Guy patted himself on the stomach where he'd found Kabu. "Good thing I'm nice and soft here, huh, sir?"

Kabu noticed his honest-to-Arceus dynamaxed friend was sitting slumped back against one of the big wall TVs. The screen had been reduced to a spiderweb of cracks. In all the crazy size-shifty confusion, Ball Guy must have fallen on his rear end and crashed into it.

The poor guy glanced over his shoulder to see what Kabu was looking at. "Um... I can fix that."

Kabu waved a dismissive hand. "You think you're the first dynamaxer to accidentally take out one of those TVs? Insurance'll take care of it."

Ball Guy placed him in his cupped palm. Kabu sat up on his knees and the two of them gazed at each other in awe.

"So small," Ball Guy said dreamily. "I mean, you're normally small—no offense, sir, I like that about you—but this is something else." He touched a fingertip to Kabu's cheek, his chest, his stomach. "Ahhh... cute...!"

"Please, big guy, I don't look it but I'm really ticklish."

Absorbed in his fascination, Ball Guy seemed not to hear. Kabu dissolved into helpless laughter under the rain of pokes.

Then the enormous fingertip pushed him flat on his belly, lightly pinning him down. "Ooh, he's down for the count! And the match goes to Ball Guy! Wooo! The crowd goes ballistic!" 

Kabu had never gotten rock-hard so fast in his life.

Ball Guy misconstrued his antsy squirming, and the finger quickly released him. "Oh, sorry, sir. I got a little carried away there." Ball Guy chuckled. "Can you picture me as a boxer? For someone who gets so hyped for Pokemon battles, I couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag. I just don't have the instincts. ...Um... sir...?"

Kabu had jumped out of Ball Guy's hand and was scurrying up his chest like some crazed bug. It reminded him of _Shadow of the Coalossal_ , that video game Raihan was so enamored with. The point of the game was to figure out how to climb up the bodies of hostile dynamaxed rock-type Pokemon so you could get at their weak points. Of course, Ball Guy was the polar opposite of hostile, but "mercy" was not a word in Kabu's vocabulary—and after last night he was intimately familiar with his new friend's weak points.

He dived down the collar of Ball Guy's shirt and made a beeline for his target.

" _Heee!_ That tickles!" wheezed the big guy. 

"Serves you right!" Kabu shot back.

Ball Guy pulled his shirt up just in time to see Kabu latch on to his nipple. "Oh!" he gasped. "Sh-should we be doing this in the stadium?!"

"Yes," said Kabu. "Yes we should."

"But... what if someone comes?"

"Oh, someone's going to come, all right." He licked a long, shiny wet stripe up the nipple and felt Ball Guy shudder beneath him like the first tremors of an earthquake. To think he could have this kind of power over a being so much bigger and stronger than him! Sweet mother of Arceus, he couldn't remember the last time his dick ached this desperately.

As he went to town on Ball Guy's nipple, he sensed rather than saw a vast hand cup protectively around him. Affection ignited within him like a struck match.

He looked up with just his half-lidded eyes and smiled. "If you'd like to fuck me, be my guest."

Almost at once he felt a tentacle lift the waistband of his shorts and yank them down his legs. The slick tendril was plump but not so plump it wouldn't fit in him, nicely confirming his prediction that Ball Guy could adapt to a partner of any size. As Kabu had discovered after taking him home the previous night, his junk was versatile in just about any way you could imagine. Want to get fucked by half a dozen tentacles? Ball Guy was happy to oblige. In the mood for pussy? Ball Guy had you covered. How about fucking his pussy while _he_ fucked _you_ with half a dozen tentacles? Pssh, Ball Guy could've done it in his sleep.

His breath jerked out as the tentacle slid inside him, a flawless fit, like it had been made just for him. (Which, from a certain point of view, it had.) He pressed his face into Ball Guy's tit, practically a habit at this point when he was struggling to hold off from nutting on the spot.

Ball Guy gently ruffled Kabu's hair with a fingertip and joked, "Maybe no pulling on this today, huh?"

So much for not nutting on the spot.

"Whoa! You got really tight on me." Ball Guy puffed out a shuddery breath, and all Kabu could do was lie there riding out the rise and fall of his massive chest. Not to say he didn't enjoy it. "Should I keep going?"

"I'll suplex you here and now if you don't," said Kabu good-naturedly.

A second tentacle snail-trailed along his cheek. He opened his mouth to let it slip inside and gulped down a hefty dose of his new favorite beverage. Delicious heat fizzed through him to the very tips of his fingers and toes. His softening dick twitch-twitched back to life between his thighs.

Kabu scrambled up on all fours, every inch of skin buzzing with need. "Now let me have it, and don't hold back!"

Famous last words. Out of nowhere he had tentacles all over him, sneaking into his jockstrap to twine around his cock, gliding under his shirt to caress the small of his back, dip into his navel, tease his nipples. He'd intended to keep servicing Ball Guy's tit, he really had, but the Otherworldly Package once again proved too much for his poor old mortal body to withstand. From the first smooth, powerful pump of the tentacle inside him, he was a moaning, babbling, drooling wreck.

It was hard to say how many times they each got off. Hell, once Ball Guy started hosing his guts the stuff never seemed to stop coming, overflowing and gushing down the backs of his legs in an unbroken flood. He just barely had the presence of mind to note four of his own loads; after that his body ran dry of cum and he lost count.

While the tentacles continued their mindblowing work, Ball Guy stroked his cheek with a tender thumb, his voice soft and reverent as he praised his smallness and cuteness and pretty much every other -ness. Kabu turned his head to kiss the thumb, then nuzzled at it, tears leaking from his half-closed eyes.

Very carefully, the thumb tilted Kabu's chin up. "You look so, so good like this, sir," Ball Guy panted.

He made a pitiful sound high in his throat and came yet again, his whole body trembling so powerfully it was a wonder he didn't shake himself to pieces. Forget tentacles. How was it Ball Guy could unravel him like this just by being himself?

Between the rough sex and soft words, everything blurred together into a fog of mindless pleasure where time meant nothing.

His next distinct memory was of being nudged awake. He was lying prone on Ball Guy's bare chest. The tentacles had gone. 

Groggily he lifted his head and said, "What happened?"

"You passed out!" exclaimed Ball Guy. "It was just for a moment, though, thank goodness. I'd never have forgiven myself if—"

Kabu smiled and patted his friend's chest. "Shhh. I know."

He sat up, grimacing at the slimy cling of his cum-saturated clothes.

Then he saw what the two of them had done to the floor of the stadium and died a little inside.

Somehow, _somehow_ it had failed to occur to him that Ball Guy growing exponentially in size would have the same effect on his already-ridiculous cum loads. This side of the playing field was swimming in enough nut to fill several bathtubs. Insurance wasn't going to save his ass on this one.

Hastily he made his way down Ball Guy's torso and slid down the side of his leg, grabbing at the cloth of the big guy's shorts every few feet to slow his descent.

Getting up close and personal with the mess did not make him any more optimistic.

"Mr. K? Everything all right?"

"No, everything is not all right! We can't let anyone see this!"

Ball Guy's hands flew up. "It's fine! It's fine! Um... uh..." His head whipped to and fro in a frenzy. "Oh! I know! Look, while I'm still big I'll just, y'know, sort of scoop it all into one corner so it'll be easier to—"

Right on cue, as he reached out to start cleaning up his mess, the dynamax effect wore off and he shrank to his normal size.

Kabu lay his face in his hands.

"I'll... go grab some mops," said Ball Guy sheepishly.


End file.
